Monthly Archives: September 2010

September 14, 2010 · 1:42 pm

Should a mosque be built near Ground-Zero?

YES

By: Amelia Passer
Staff Reporter

Americans freaked-out at the idea of building a Mosque on Ground Zero, the site where the World Trade Center once stood. I was a bit apprehensive when I first heard about Park51, too, but after a bit of research, all the commotion seems a little out of proportion. For one thing, the site isn’t actually on Ground Zero. The location for the future mosque, due to open in September, is no less than two blocks away in the building occupied by a Burlington Coat Factory.

Additionally, the “mosque” is not even a “mosque.” It is in fact, an Islamic Community Center that will not primarily be used for worship.  The facility will include a 500-seat auditorium, a movie theater, performing arts center, fitness center, swimming pool, basketball court, childcare area, bookstore, culinary school, art studio, food court, September 11 memorial, and prayer space to accommodate approximately 1,000–2,000 people.

Not only have the facts concerning the mosque been misrepresented, but the issue also should never have become a national debate to begin with. The conflict is a local problem that shouldn’t be involved with by the national jurisdiction. There are so many more important problems in the country that don’t get news coverage at all, while this issue shouldn’t have ever been questioned to begin with. The dispute is a direct violation of our First Amendment, which guarantees freedom of religion and the right to build facilities on privately owned property.

Religious freedom should not in anyway be limited to certain cultures or sects. Muslim minority in the U.S. shouldn’t be prosecuted for the acts that happened on 9/11 just because of the 0.01% of terrorist that are often associated with the culture.

If America keeps this attitude toward Muslims, it seems like. in a sense, the terrorists have won. The U.S. is still acting defensively, and in some cases, like the controversy with Park51, many Americans express excessive fear.  Wouldn’t that be what the terrorist would’ve wanted, to have constant state of paranoia?

As a nation, we need to stand together and strive to move past this intolerance. Until we can eliminate the stereotypes we have towards others different from ourselves, we will never be able to progress as a country or more importantly be able to reach coexistence.

NO

By: Anna Kate Baygents
Staff Reporter

September 11, 2001, is a day that Americans will never forget. Four U.S. planes were hijacked by Islamic suicide bombers. Two were flown into the Twin Towers, one into the Pentagon, and one meant for the White House landed in a Pennsylvania field. Over 3,000 innocent people were murdered that day, and thousands everywhere were affected either directly by losing a family member or friend, or by the shared pain felt by all Americans. Consider the family members of these victims. They shouldn’t be reminded of this tragedy daily by having an Islamic mosque built so close to that sacred ground.

According to the U.S. Constitution, building this on privately owned property is perfectly legal. That, however, doesn’t make it acceptable; in fact, I find this one of the most distasteful things one could do. The Cordoba House isn’t just a modest little mosque, but a $100 million cultural and community center only 560 feet away from Ground Zero. The first thing I asked myself was, “Why this location? Out of every available lot in New York, why this one?” I’ve heard it compared to building a German cultural center at Auschwitz. Considering this would create quite a controversy, a worldwide issue would result. A comparable building of the mosque in America, however, is made into a hushed issue.
Time magazine recently reported that 71% of Americans oppose the mosque. The Imam, Fiesal Abdul Rauf, said that he wanted this mosque there to “promote religious tolerance.” The negative perception of peaceful Muslims will never go away if the wishes of the majority of Americans isn’t honored.

Imam Fielsal Abdul Rauf may seem like your friendly neighbor next door, but he’s not. On September 30, 2001, he told CBS Nightly News, “I wouldn’t say the U.S. deserved what happened, but U.S. policies were an accessory to the crime that happened.” Now, I’m not some crazy conservative that just screams terrorist and demands his deportation, but no one with America’s best interest in mind would say that a mere 19 days after 9/11.  He’s also a member of the Perdana Global Peace Organization. This organization sent $366,000 to the Free Gaza movement this past May.  The Free Gaza movement was when Arabs went to forcefully take back Gaza from the Israelis. It quickly turned violent and killed many innocent Israelis. No one wants this supposedly “peaceful” person building in their neighborhood.
With the ninth anniversary of the September 11 tragedy just a week away, respect and sympathy for victims’ families should be at an all time high. It’s not a matter of religious freedom or property rights, but a matter of appropriateness.

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· 1:39 pm

Team rivalry fosters pranks and vandalism

By: Victoria Chen
Staff Reporter

The highly anticipated Panther Stadium that made surrounding schools’ plain grass pits wither with envy was made infamous the day before its debut football game – not only because of its impressive scarlet stands or ridiculous number of seats, but also because of the work of some “clever” vandals. Surprising? Nah. Not the fact that it happened, but the fact that what was accomplished will forever be engrained in the history of Petal football. And what exactly did those vandals do? Oh, nothing – besides transform the well-respected “Home of the Panthers” gridirons to the “Home of the Panties” with a few cans of spray paint.

Now we can all agree that spray painting that degrading nickname was not exactly the nicest or most sportsman-like thing to do. But the question is – Are some folks overreacting to it? Well, like every controversial thing that happens today, we will always have those two sides: where everyone’s all for it and where the others rant and raid about it. You should probably be familiar with your “side.” If not, take the time to choose.

Let’s begin with the people with a sense of humor. Obviously, this posse is the “more popular” one, with the majority of them students that do not attend Petal. The mainstream thoughts are: “Whoever did that is my hero!” and “Oh, don’t get your panties in a wad.” In this group, people think this incident is just some harmless, hilarious pay back that Petal just cannot get over. Don’t deny it – the group even made t-shirts. Now, hypothetically, what if a rival completely trashed Warrior stadium, our stadium (not that “Warriors” gives you much to work with) and what, if then, we had to listen to other’s wisecracks for years to come? No thanks, right? Feeling uncomfortable? Even guilty? Let’s lay off with the jokes…for now.

The other side of the fence is the anti-vandalistic group, the victims, or otherwise known as the “shame on you” team. Not only do these people totally disapprove of this behavior, but they also believe that these meddling kids deserve upright punishment for their actions. This group is mainly comprised of the Petal High students and other adults. United, they drive a force of constant criticism (rarely constructive).

Well, let me share this: spray painted on Petal’s turf were the initials “S.C.R.”, along with a six-pointed star, which officials believe to be the Simon City Royals gang symbol, making them possible suspects. Vandalism is wrong…yes. But it was harmless. All the paint was scrubbed off the next morning, with no real physical damage, leaving a perfectly fine and beautiful stadium for kick-off against the South Panola Tigers.

From every mistake, life lessons can be learned. Petal definitely should’ve invested in a working security system before spending money on a panther statue if they had wanted to keep the stadium untouched.

I was one of the cheering spectators at the most anticipated game of the season: Oak Grove vs. Petal, even though it was only the Warriors second match-up of the season. I’ll admit – when I first walked into Panther territory, I couldn’t take my eyes off the home side. Then again, they are kind of directly in front of the visitor’s stands, where the Warriors were seated. My point is – their bleachers, field house, and turf are really nice. So I can understand the madness and mayhem that resulted after the mischievous prank. The game took a disappointing turn for the Warriors by the fourth quarter, ending with a Panther victory of 26-21. The Warriors put up a good fight, keeping up with the Panthers for most of the game. Good game, Petal. You may have shut up OG fans for a while, but it’s only temporary.
Sure, vandalism is illegal. In the eyes of many teenagers, breaking a few windows or rolling someone’s property may seem like a minor crime. But beware: offenses such as these are punishable with misdemeanors and even felony charges. Some could even be fined some pretty pennies, do never-ending hours of mandatory community service, and even serve jail time…if caught. Risky vandals can go big or go home (in this case, jail time if charged).

Even though the visible carnage lasted only a mere day, the demoralizing blow is over. No matter what side you’re on, vandalism is vandalism. Payback is payback – funny or not.  So for those saying that Petal needs to “unwad their panties,” be sure to remember that when the tables are turned.

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· 1:29 pm

By: Christina Vilar
Staff Reporter

I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but the OGHS marching band has a male drum major for the first time in several years. Senior Donnel Wilson is proud to hold the title. The drum majors are the ones on the ladders conducting the drumline and the rest of the band. They set a steady beat unless there’s a tempo change. He, along with senior Emily Torres and sophomore Kaelyn Sydboten, will hopefully lead the band to another “all-superior” year. From a marcher’s perspective on the field, Donell, Emily, and Kaelyn look good on their ladders with their chins up and arms moving in a rhythmical pattern. So, next time you see the drum majors salute to the audience before the band begins playing, give them a little support and cheer them on!

Co-ed drum majors for the first time in many years: Upgrade

The Office will never be the same now that star Steve Carell said, “It was time for my character to go.” This news hit  The Office lovers hard, including the ones on the Warrior Beat staff. Carell is reported to be leaving The Office at the end of the seventh season which ends in May 2011. Plenty fans of The Office have expressed their feelings by starting groups and blogs about how much they dislike the idea of Carell leaving the beloved show. Other fans are just grateful to have one more season to laugh at Carell’s funny and lovable character. Possible funnyman replacements to fill in Michael Scott’s shoes are Danny McBride (Pineapple Express, Land of the Lost) and Rhys Darby (Yes Man, Pirate Radio). Though these two actors are funny and entertaining, they’ll never fill the space in our hearts the way Michael Scott has these past six seasons.

Steve Carell leaving The Office: Downgrade

It’s taken us a couple of weeks, but we’ve finally gotten used to the school uniforms. One thing that sent a bit of confusion throughout the school is whether or not we were able to wear navy blue or Polo brand shirts. Mr. Folkes held a 20-minute assembly the first week of school, informing students that we are indeed allowed to wear navy and regular Polo brand shirts. Some students were told by administrators they couldn’t wear Polos because the logo was a few centimeters outside the size of a quarter and they couldn’t wear navy shirts, just navy bottoms. We still can’t wear navy on black or black on navy. We still have to tuck in our shirts and wear belts when our pants have belt loops, but at least we have one more color to add to our closets full of khakis and belts.

Being able to wear navy shirts and Polos: Upgrade

Who likes being stuck behind a group of slow walking people in the hallways? Well, I sure don’t, and I’m sure the rest of the student population doesn’t either. Because of these slowpokes, it makes walking from one side of the school to the other intolerable. And what’s up with people randomly stopping in the middle of the halls to talk to their buddies? If you want to talk to someone, how much energy is it going to take you to move to the side so people who are interested in getting somewhere can go around you? Word of advice to all you slow walkers out there: Start walking faster than my grandmother or you will get run over.

Getting stuck behind slowpokes in the crowded halls: Downgrade

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· 1:24 pm

Meet the 2010 Student Body officers

By: Sydney Sanders
Copy Editor


Back in the day, OGHS was small enough that everyone knew everyone.  Not so, anymore.  With over 1,500 students enrolled, this year’s student body officers represent the largest group in the history of our school.  But who are they?  Some of them may be your friends, maybe you recognize their names, and hopefully, you even voted for them.  There are still some of you, though, who may not know them at all.  Here’s a brief look into their busy lives and their plans for OG this year.

President Victoria Stein: As a senior, Victoria is enjoying her 13th year at Oak Grove schools.  She is an active member of the First Priority leadership team and is the assistant director for the theatre department.  Among her responsibilities as president are gathering ideas for spirit days and a homecoming theme.  Vic says she is looking forward to spearheading tailgating events this fall and wants this to be known as the most school-spirited year ever.  “I’m expecting a lot of cheering from the student section!” she said.  Crediting her mom with encouraging her to run for this office, Vic says she loves getting to know people and making them smile.  Her post-graduation plans include enrolling at either Mississippi State or Ole Miss, pursing a major in public relations/communications, and possibly even theatre.  She is a member of Heritage United Methodist Church.

Vice-President Sydney Sanders: As a junior, I am very excited to be your SBVP.  It may sound strange, but I have wanted to be a student body officer since I was a little Warrior in elementary school.  When my friends were talking about being cheerleaders in high school, I wanted to be student body president.  I want to hear from you with ideas for this year.  I will be working closely with the other officers to make this a year to remember.  My life is crazy, as I am involved in just about every club at OG!  But, I love it, and service is my passion.  Some of the best experiences of my life so far have been service-related (Civitan Camp, Spirit Girls, etc.).  I encourage you to find your passion, and pursue it.  Let’s make these high school years ones to remember forever.   After high school, I hope to major in pre-pharmacy at Ole Miss, and ultimately obtain a Doctor of Pharmacy degree.

Secretary Shelby Stiglets: A Warrior since fourth grade, Shelby is a junior this year with plans to pursue a degree in biology/pre-vet medicine.  Her goal as your secretary is to make students proud to be a Warrior, boost and encourage positive attitudes, and make the most of every school experience.  Shelby is an active member of the Beta Club, First Priority, Art Club, National Honor Art Society, and plays on the OG soccer team.  Her duties as secretary include completing paperwork, taking meeting notes, and assisting the other officers in organizing extra-curricular activities.

Treasurer Imani Steven:  “Don’t just be AT school; be IN this school, get involved, and make a difference.”  Those words probably sum up this year’s student body treasurer best.  Imani is a senior and has served Oak Grove in a variety of roles since she started kindergarten here.  Currently, she serves as Beta Club president and secretary/treasurer of the band.  She is a member of FGH Spirit Girls, the Mayor’s Youth Advisory Council, and D.R.E.A.M. of Hattiesburg.  As treasurer of the student body, Imani’s duties will lie less with handling money and more with coming up with ideas for how to spend it.  “It’s an honor to be among some of the students who are able to make big decisions in our school,” she said.  Imani plans to major in pre-pharmacy at the University of Mississippi.
Election Commissioner Allison Slusher: In her eighth year on the student council, Allison, a junior, brings a lot of leadership experience to her position.  She serves on leadership teams for First Priority and FCA, and is secretary of Key Club, Beta Club, and the Forensics Team.  Allison is also busy with duties as a Beta Club member, FGH Spirit Girl, and with her youth group at Temple Baptist Church.  She gives credit for her leadership skills to her teachers and her family.  “I would say that every teacher I have had has encouraged me to be a leader in my school by simply encouraging me to strive to help others and make a difference,” she said.  “My family and I are very close, and they have shaped me in to the person I am today.”  As election commissioner, it will be Allison’s responsibility to organize student elections and assist the other officers with spirit-related events.  “I would like to see us all show our pride in Oak Grove this year by showing school spirit and getting involved in all of the activities Oak Grove has to offer.”  Allison hopes to pursue a degree in biology after high school, then go on to medical school.
Reporter Presley Stiglets: A Warrior since 5th grade, Presley is excited about following in her sister, Alex’s, footsteps as student body reporter.  “This year I really hope more people become more involved in our great school. We are without a doubt one of the best schools in Mississippi in various ways, but there is always room for improvement,” she said.  Presley’s interests are widespread: she loves art, writing, and is a member of the varsity soccer team.  Bringing creativity to the team of student body officers, Presley says she is looking forward to making a positive impact on her peers and hopefully leaving a good impression of student government in their minds.  Her best advice to her classmates? “DON’T WALK ON THE WARRIOR HEAD! We should show respect to our school and walk around it when possible.  You are more than welcome to walk all over any panther heads, however! We are Oak Grove.”  Presley hopes to play soccer for PRCC next year, or in the alternative, attend the University of Mississippi.

Who…?
Has only one dimple when she smiles?
Is 1/8 Lebanese?
Was born without an eyelid?
Can make her eyes move in opposite directions at the same time?
Is the middle of six children?
Has a birthmark on her foot?

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· 1:21 pm

OG students travel to Australia with peacekeeping organization

By: Taylor Herring
Staff Reporter

From June 30 to July 12, a group of 38 students and four adults traveled across the globe to Australia. People to People, a student ambassador peacekeeping program, took students in the Jackson and Hattiesburg delegation. These students were anonymously selected based on academic and leadership qualities. In order to pay the $6,800 fee for the trip, the students fundraised during the preceding year. While this cost may seem lofty, it covered not only air-fare to and from Australia, but also travel inside the country, meals, and 5-star hotel fees. Three of our own students participated in the People to People trip to Australia: senior Kate Zachary, and juniors Elizabeth Lucas and Susannah Carpenter.

When asked which part of the trip was most exciting, Kate Zachary immediately recalled the group flying to Cairns, an entirely different state in Australia. While in Cairns, they explored the Wet Tropics Rainforest in North Queensland. The most memorable part, however, was snorkeling among the Great Barrier Reef. The unexpectedly shallow waters made the colors of the reef most vibrant; according to Zachary, the brightness of the reef was indescribably beautiful.
Susannah Carpenter asserted that while the Great Barrier Reef was a beautiful experience, her favorite part of the trip was learning to surf in New South Wales. This eastern coastal region is a surfing community, so most of the inhabitants are on the beaches and in the water on a regular basis. After careful instruction from surfing guides, the group paddled out on surf boards alongside the professionals. Carpenter was one of few who was able to stand on the board her first try; however, she did so with ease.  “Although surfing was a tough technique for most to master,” Carpenter said, “the feeling of being out on the water was a really great experience.”

Elizabeth Lucas’s favorite part of the entire trip was not an event that the group did as a whole. Hers, however, was the “home stay” portion of the trip. During home stay, the students stayed in pairs with separate Australian families in Southwest Rocks: a region of New South Wales along the Pacific coast. The purpose of the stay was to become acquainted with the way of life of Australian citizens. The students not only grocery shopped with the family, but prepared meals and ate with them as well. They stayed with the family for two nights and did basically anything the family would do on a regular basis. “The people were so happy; it was obvious that they enjoyed having Americans stay with them,” Lucas said. “Staying with such welcoming people, in such a beautiful area, almost made me want to be Australian!”

The group participated in a myriad of other activities over the course of their stay. In Cairns, for example, the students had the privilege of meeting native Aborigines. This tribal group speaks an entirely different language than the native Australians and lives in secluded huts throughout the area. The students on the trip were able to observe an ancient Aboriginal tradition: didgeridoo playing.

Not only did the students encounter a tribal group native to Australia, but also native animal species. In Cairns, they were able to get “up close and personal” with koala bears; some were actually able to hold and feed one of these friendly creatures.  The students also became quite acquainted with dingoes: wild dogs found only in Australia. On Frasier Island, in fact, there is a $30,000 fine for simply feeding these wild animals. “It was somewhat strange,” Zachary commented, “to see a dog act the way a dingo acts. It was scary to think of known cases of these animals actually eating babies, while at home these very animals live in our houses.”

Another interesting aspect of the trip was the difference in American and Australian food. Foremost, since kangaroos are so abundant in the region, they have become domesticated animals which many people eat. Furthermore, Australians enjoy baked beans for breakfast, instead of for lunch or supper as Americans do. They also commonly eat “potato Jims,” an Australian version of American hash-browns or “tater tots.”  Mealtime was usually an exciting time for the group; they never quite knew what to expect on their plates.

The students involved in People to People viewed this trip as one which they will remember always. The 15-day expedition was certainly a once in a lifetime experience; they each gained a unique appreciation for the culture of Australia. “The entire experience was incredible. I will, without a doubt, return to Australia in the near future to visit a truly amazing and beautiful country,” Zachary said.

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· 1:20 pm

Bostick represents Mississippi in national pageant

By: Brittain Allgood
Staff Reporter

After receiving the title of Miss Leaf River Valley, Christina Bostick, a junior at Oak Grove High School, was crowned Miss Mississippi Outstanding Teen on June 5, and represented her state in the Miss America Outstanding Teen Pageant in Orlando, Florida, on August 26 through August 28. “Oh my goodness! I NEVER thought I would get this far,” Bostick said. “Because this was my first pageant, I went to the state competition for the fun and experience, and I had zero expectations!”

For the contestants, The Miss Mississippi Outstanding Teen pageant is a week full of intense rehearsals, interviews, and plenty of hairspray. “The week of Miss Mississippi Outstanding Teen was one of my favorite experiences. The other girls there were so much fun, and we spent so much time practicing our dances for the group production numbers, which was a blast for me!” Each contestant competes in talent, active wear, evening gown, interview, and on-stage question. Christina received a preliminary award the second night of competition for her talent. The last night of competition, Christina wore her crown with grace as she took her first walk as Miss Mississippi Outstanding Teen. “I was in complete shock when they called my name out for the top ten, so by the time they called out the top five and alternates, I was speechless!”

The Miss Mississippi Organization, the “big sister” to Miss Mississippi Outstanding Teen, requires each contestant to have a platform. Christina created her own platform, “Eyes of Love.” She was inspired after her father went on a mission trip to Eku, Nigeria. He along with the other volunteers, found that there was a desperate need for eye care in this part of West Africa. Because Nigeria is so close to the Equator, men, women and children as young as nine years old are going blind. The harsh rays of the sun are causing the eye disease glaucoma, and the constant sand and dust in the air cause itching and scratching which lead to eye ulcers. All of these conditions, if left untreated, cause blindness. “After hearing these stories and seeing the pictures of the many people who are affected by this, my heart was broken, and I felt the need to do something.” Bostick said. “It is my desire to collect as many gently used sunglasses, reading glasses, and prescription glasses to be delivered to the people there when our church goes again in January.” If you would like to donate to Christina’s charity, go to
http://www.eyesoflove.net to find out how you can help!

From Miss Leaf River Valley to Miss Mississippi, Christina Bostick truly is a role model for all girls. Bostick might have already won the crown, but her journey is just beginning. “I would have to say that I have grown as a person by realizing more than ever, that life is not always about pleasing yourself. It is more about discovering who you are inside and being determined to use the gifts that God gives you to serve him and to help others. Sometimes it means being in a position that you are not completely comfortable with, but if God puts you there, you can do anything with His help,” Bostick said.

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· 1:19 pm

Oak Grove welcomes new faculty members to family

By: Brittain Allgood
Staff Reporter

The start of a new school year usually brings new faces, not only when new students enroll, but also when new faculty is added to the Warrior roll. With the start of the 2010 school year, 13 new teachers have started at Oak Grove and two teachers are returning to Oak Grove. From academic courses to coaching, each teacher is skilled in their field of expertise and will surely add to Oak Grove’s academic excellence.

Two of the new faculty members are not only teaching, but also coaching. Zane Thomas, a football coach as well as a P.E. instructor, and Mark Swindle, a math teacher as well as the Lady Warriors basketball coach, have joined the staff. Oak Grove graduate Reagan Rigney also joined the Oak Grove family as a math teacher.

Kim Gammill, the new biology teacher, is new to Oak Grove High School, but not new to Oak Grove. She taught eighth grade science at the middle school for three years. “I do enjoy teaching at the high school,” Gammill said. “The students at the high school seem more independent, and more disciplined than the students at the middle school.”
Four new English teachers have also joined the Oak Grove High School staff; including new teachers Karen Leffler, Nakia Sibley, and former teachers Christe McGuire, and Lynn Davis who are returning to Oak Grove. “I am very excited to be back at Oak Grove,” Davis said. “I really missed teaching students and getting to know them on a personal level.”
OGHS also have five new special services teachers: Jane Thomas, Gareth Murphree, Melanie Walters, Elyse Reider, and Amanda Dickten. The band benefits from having Allen Graham, the new percussions director for the high school and the middle school. Additionally, Bailey Anglin, former administrative assistant to Assistant Principal Helen Price, joins the teaching staff for the first time to teach employability skills.

Oak Grove High School is fortunate to have so many new, willing teachers on staff, and trusts that each teacher will contribute to a terrific year.

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· 1:18 pm

Movie Review: Vampires Suck

By: Mary Ryan Karnes

“From the guys who couldn’t sit through another vampire movie” comes a spoof that sinks its teeth into not only America’s infatuation with vampires, but pop culture as a whole. Vampires Suck, written and directed by Jason Friedman and Aaron Seltzer, tells the story of Becca Crane, a normal, expressionless teen and her forbidden, undead love, Edward Sullen (whose name alone defines his persona). Through evil vampire attacks, motorcycle accidents, werewolf dance-offs, and savage proms, the slapstick humor, innuendos, racist remarks, and gory scenes never stop rolling. Friedman and Seltzer do a superb job attacking every angle of the original film, adding their own critical twist to each scene.  Becca’s monotone delivery, Edward’s keen sense of fashion and lack of skin pigmentation, Jacob’s constant lack of a shirt, and the cliché attitudes of Becca’s high school comrades contribute to this full-on exposure of the teen films that have ruled the box office for over two years. Almost every scene from the first two Twilight films was briefly replicated throughout Vampires Suck’s 80-minute course. From Bellas’s near-fatal motorcycle escapade to the unveiling of Edward’s undead nature, no character or quote goes untouched. The physical similarities between the spoof’s stars and the Twilight celebrities was striking, which can only make me wonder how the directorial staff of a film decides whether or not to cast the actor with the most talent or the actor with the most similarities to a celebrity. I believe, in Vampires Suck’s case, Friedman and Seltzer went with the latter. The rainy, mysterious set was a close match to that of Twilight. In fact, Forks, the name of the town where Twilight was set, is changed to “Sporks.”  Even the film’s soundtrack was a spoof, including a track with ridiculous, angst-filled lyrics reminiscent of the upbeat, trippy songs of Twilight’s soundtrack. With jokes almost as cheap as the film’s budget, Vampires Suck’s choppy plot takes viewers from one scene to the next with only one goal in mind: poke fun at every book, movie, and reality television character on the market today. And I believe the movie accomplished its goal. I counted over fifty pop culture references, including jeers at the Kardashians, George Clooney, and Stephenie Meyer, the author of the Twilight saga. In addition to these relatively good-humored references, I detected offensive topics scattered throughout Vampires Suck. Remarks toward illegal immigrants, the Republican party, single parents, and Native Americans could easily offend any moviegoer. Offensive references toward homosexuals only add to the film’s disrespectful energy.  Teen drinking and partying is considered “the norm” at a school-sponsored and supervised prom, and Becca’s dad (a police officer) tells her where he keeps illegal drugs. The exaggerated gore showcased throughout the film will make viewers trade their overpriced Sweet-tarts for a couple of Tums. At one point, Edward pulls out his handgun and randomly shoots an imitation of Alice from Alice in Wonderland. Ill-planned mock-celebrity appearances are thrown around the film from start to finish. The random mention of icons like Snooki and her pals from the hit series Jersey Shore or Lady Gaga in her shimmering stage wear will garner few laughs from even an eager audience. In addition to gaudy jokes and immature bathroom humor, the lack of well-known cast members gives this film a more unprofessional look, even for a spoof. Vampires Suck looks more like a montage of anti-vampire YouTube videos thrown together by a group of college guys than it does a theatre-caliber film. Vampires Suck’s trailer basically gave away all of the film’s one-liners and most of its plot. So, don’t get “sucked” into buying a ticket for this film.

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September 4, 2010 · 8:32 am

Dysfunction Junction

By: Kent McCarty, Editor


Dysfunction Junction chronicles the unfortunate strings of events that plague my life.  Everything below is true, and that’s what’s scary.

For the majority of people, starting school is always full of chaos and disorder.   With that in mind, imagine for a second how much of a hectic ordeal starting school is for someone who lives every day as a hectic ordeal.  That situation perfectly summarizes my life, and the start of my senior year was no exception.

Surprisingly, the first day of school came and went without any real disasters.  I remembered to wake up on time, I didn’t fall when I ran the halls, and I got my car out of the parking lot without having to call and make a claim on my insurance.  After that first day, things were looking up.  However, by the end of the second weekend of the school year, I was in bad shape.

Sunday afternoon, my sister Callie Anne, 7, and I were playing hide-and-seek in the playroom when she decided that the only thing more fun, was chasing me around the house with a tennis raquet. While I was running from her and her Barbie tennis raquet, I hit my toe on the table leg, and it bent in a direction that a big toe shouldn’t go.  I fell to the ground in pain, which meant nothing to her who proceeded to beat me relentlessly with the tennis raquet.  It didn’t take long to determine that my toe was broken, and it took even less time for me to determine that an out-of-commission big toe is detrimental to walking.  Being the practical guy that I am, I asked for a wheelchair, and my dad quickly told me that that was not going to happen.

At school, I hobbled around on my toe and by Organic Chem, I began to think that I had the walking thing down.  We happened to be doing a lab that day, which sounded good because it would give me something to do other than sit and feel sorry for myself about my stupid toe.  Of course, chemicals and I mix about as well as fire and ice, so my optimism was short lived.  As I was attempting to “waft” cyclohexane out of a pipette, I lost my balance because of my toe issue and squeezed the pipette as I was trying to catch myself.  The jolt sent a large spray of cyclohexane onto my face and into my mouth and nose.  Now I don’t know much about cyclohexane, but what I do know is that it burns.  I imagined my face dissolving off of my body as I hobbled over to the sink, yelling for Mrs. Fortenberry the whole time.  Even though the right side of my face went completely numb a few seconds after contact, Mrs. Fortenberry assured me that a skin graft would not be necessary, and that I should expect to make a full recovery within a few minutes.

It’s been three weeks since I broke my toe and chemically burned my face, and, although the toe still gives me trouble, Mrs. Fortenberry was right about not needing a skin graft.  My main concern now is that if I can’t handle starting grade school, which I’ve been doing for 13 years, how am I going to make it in college?

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· 8:18 am

Book Review: The Advanced Genius Theory: Are They Our of Their Minds or Ahead of Their Time?

Many have pondered why many popular icons in the music industry have made numerous great records only to grow old and end up making horrible music. What’s the deal with Bob Dylan’s Christian album? Why did Lou Reed cut a double album filled entirely with feedback loops? Why did Sting make an album of 17th century Lute music?
Finally there is an answer to all these questions: The Advanced Genius Theory. This theory was founded by Jason Hartley and Britt Berman in 1992. Since then Hartley has slowly been refining the theory and this year he published a book explaining the theory, entitled The Advanced Genius Theory: Are They Out Of Their Minds or Ahead Of Their Time?
The theory essentially explains the reason music critics and even average music listeners believe many artists, whose early work was magnificent, have now “lost it.”
Grounded in the belief that true geniuses are ahead of their times, Hartley believes they would stay that way. And, at times these geniuses will create music that we simply are not smart enough to appreciate or comprehend. Such geniuses have “advanced” beyond us. At first, one wonders how to discern between music that is truly advanced and the music that is just horrible; which is why Hartley has devoted a whole book to the subject. In the book there are five ground rules set up for determining if an artist is advanced.
First, the artist must have done great work for more than 15 years. This makes sure the artist has done excellent work long enough that his musical judgement can be trusted over almost anyone else’s (especially the average music consumer’s) judgement.
Second, the artist must have alienated his fan base. Original fans become the most alienated when an artist advances because they appreciate the artist’s period of ‘original’ and ‘normal’ music so much. When the artist changes (advances) they are left farthest behind.
Third, the artist must be completely unironic. An advanced artist may seem to be making extremely weird music, but they certainly are not doing so as a joke. They believe their current work is their best and most serious to date. Many perceive such as a joke but that is only because they have not advanced as quickly as the artist.
Fourth, the artist must be unpredictable. The advanced make unpredctable art as opposed to making essentially the opposite of what is expected.  The latter is simply rebelliousness. True advancement is the artist’s attempts at achieving his highest musical goals, not trying to upset the status quo.
Lastly, the artist must have lost it spectacularly. One cannot be advanced by only alienating their fans, but by causing all to question the validity of the artist’s music.
The rules seem complicated, and are somewhat so in order to ensure that the theory only recognizes truly advanced geniuses. A large majority of the book is devoted to advancement in the realm of music. Advancement, however, can be found in countless other social mediums. Hartley makes sure to explain the role of advancement in film, literature, art, and even sports.
Upon finishing the book, the reader finds that many odd occurrences in pop-culture can be explained by advancement. Soon the reader finds any analyzation of an album, movie, or book constantly peppered with different parts of the advanced genius theory.
The book is a tedious and detailed text filled with numerous examples and explanations. This is something that is understandable though, as the book is after all the first describing a whole new artistic theory. When deciding whether or not to read this book, one must understand that his or her previous views will be shattered and replaced by a brand new idea on what and who is truly genius. But this new understanding of genius is enlightenment highly worth attaining and, after all, it allows for the

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